


恋の予感

by yeonlip



Category: VIXX
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Getting Together, M/M, Rareship hell, Secret Relationship, cringe collection, god i wish i could be held, gratuitous cuddling, i wrote this for myself but yall can read it too i guess, no like really in depth and detailed cuddling, no sex because thats disgusting, theres a cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22477885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeonlip/pseuds/yeonlip
Summary: koi no yokan(n.) The sense of imminent love, somewhere down the road, without yet feeling it.the story of hakyeon and yikyung in snapshots, from first meeting to first parting.
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Yikyung
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	恋の予感

**Author's Note:**

> literally only wrote this for myself that's why it's shit bon appetit  
> heavily inspired by that one yeongeun fic, go read it  
> this is cringe honestly, but its is my rareship tag now so eat the hell i guess

Hakyeon opened his eyes, roused from a far too short nap by the car skidding to a stop and the engine shutting off. His tired gaze landed on a generic gray building offset by a generic gray sky, too early in the morning for even the sun to bother shining properly.

Did the first read through of the script have to be _this_ early? They weren’t really filming anything yet, but unfortunately for him they _were_ taking pictures, and Hakyeon had to go be made up. Acting schedules allowed for more leniency but he still had appearances to keep up with. Going on seven years as an idol and all the fuss in the early mornings still made him wonder if it was all worth it.

(It was. He just needed some coffee in his system.)

He didn’t even get to rest, not really, staying in that weird undefined phase where he drifted in and out of consciousness during the ride. And the night before was spent wide awake, tossing and turning and running his few lines back and forth until he was sure they would haunt him years down the line. 

It's not that he wasn't confident in his skills as an actor, but this was a stepping stone in his career he needed to get good footing on, lest he tarnish his and his group's good name. Entertainment was never just about talent, but thankfully by now he's learned how to be charming and likable come hell or high water.

The company's interior was just as generic as it's exterior, as unremarkable as the countless other buildings Hakyeon's worked in over the years. A bored looking girl at the reception signed him and his manager in and pointed them to the room they needed to be in.

His manager opened the door, walking in first and Hakyeon took the moment to scan the room. There weren’t many people present, just the main cast and crew members sitting at the long table, director at the head of it, and a few more staff members milling about the room.

“Hello, I am Cha Hakyeon. I will be playing Lee Eunho. I’m looking forward to working with you all. Please take care of me.”

He bowed and was met with a few unenthusiastic nods and hellos. Grabbing a coffee from the vending machine, he sat down next to Kim Suna, looking regal and elegant playing with her phone, he introduced himself more personally. He _was_ a little intimidated, but he’d worked with big seniors before. He knew how to win them over.

She gave him a slow up and down, eyeglasses resting on the tip of her nose, her mouth set in a frown and her eyes seemingly judgmental. Hakyeon could almost feel a drop of sweat forming above his brow when her face broke out into a smile, and she nodded to him in greeting as well. 

“Hakyeon-ssi! It's very nice to meet you, let’s have a good reading today. Fighting!” she said, raising her coffee cup in a _cheers_ movement. Hakyeon didn’t even get to process what had happened before his body let out a weak “thank you” on reflex. 

Seated to the left of him was Lee Yikyung, doodling on his script with a ball pen in one hand while his cheek rested on the other. They’d met once before, Hakyeon recalled vaguely, doing an interview together while he was promoting a movie, but they didn’t really have a chance to talk much. Wongeun was there and Hakyeon had admittedly been more focused on him at the time.

The man turned, noticing Hakyeon’s eyes on him.

“Hakyeon-ssi! Nice to meet you. Again.” Yikyung nodded his head in greeting. His smile was awkward but endearing, and Hakyeon found his eyes lingering on it just a second more than what was considered normal.

He seemed unsure if Hakyeon even remembered him. And here Hakyeon was, thinking it would be the other way around. To say he was relieved would be an understatement. At least he had one semi-familiar person on set with him, almost the same age and seemingly friendly and open. If Hakyeon learned anything the hard way it was that who you work with can make or break you in this business.

“Likewise, Yikyung-ssi.” Hakyeon replied, smiling politely.

Awkward silence fell upon them as they both looked off to the side, unsure of what to do next. Glancing at the clock, he took notice of all the people around getting antsy. Briefly, he wondered what they were waiting for.

He wanted to strike up a conversation with Yikyung, for the lack of anything better to do, but his brain wasn't quite fully awake yet. How close were they anyways, after only meeting once, and very briefly ? Not very, Hakyeon thought. He opened his mouth but shut it immediately after, thankfully interrupted by the door opening behind them. Hakyeon turned, seeing an actress, one of the smaller roles of the episode, apologizing frantically for being late.

The reading went well. Hakyeon didn’t make a fool of himself, in fact, he was quite proud of the performance he gave. Suna ad-libbed a few of her lines, making jokes at her own expense, lightening up the mood in the room. Hakyeon tensed up when the photographer was making rounds, subtly schooling his features and presenting his best angles, but the whole ordeal turned out to be a surprisingly a low-effort, relaxed event. He was glad. 

They all clapped upon finishing, happy to finally be done. The first episode shooting wouldn’t be until next week, but from then on it was a daily schedule. Hakyeon finished the last of his coffee, allowing himself to feel relieved and even excited that he wouldn't be working with a bunch of assholes this time around. It was always a gamble.

While the room was emptying out, Hakyeon stayed behind as part of the main cast, taking a group photo and filming a short promotional video for their social medias. When they were really done, picking up their things and saying their goodbyes, Yikyung approached him.

“You were very good Hakyeon-ssi. If I hadn’t googled it just now I’d never say this was your first major role.”

Hakyeon blushed. He _had_ delivered those lines quite flawlessly. He waved his hand around, first in faux denial, then fluttering it down into a mock bow.

“Why thank you. I always did like being googled." he grinned. "You weren’t so bad yourself, Yikyung-ssi. An officer role suits you, I think.” Hakyeon hadn't watched a lot of his work, but from what he had seen, it was true. He’d never admit it to anyone, but Yikyung was cute. Like, cute-cute. Handsome. Hakyeon wanted to see him in a uniform.

Yikyung grinned, puffing up his cheeks. “Well, my friends do call me Pigkyung when I cheat on my diet for too long."

Hakyeon burst out laughing, shocked speechless. “Glad to see that was your first association but, not what I was going for. You’re not fat. You’re all… muscley. A real man’s man. Macho action guy. Tough.” He mimed boxing someone, but put his arms down quickly when he realized he was embarrassing himself. "I can't even do ten push ups."

Yikyung took the compliment in stride, looking pleased.

“Well then, I thank you for your expert opinion. This is a new venture for me actually. I’m mostly the comedic relief.” he scratched behind his ear self-consciously. Hakyeon raised an eyebrow, to which Yikyung nodded with conviction. “Yeah. I’m very funny, you know?”

Hakyeon took him up on his challenge. “Tell me a joke then, mr. funny man.” he said, leaning against the wall. The room was mostly empty, and his manager was throwing him dirty looks from across the room, but he couldn't bring himself to care much.

Yikyung puffed up his chest, fixing his jacket and putting on his best straight face. “What do you get when you cross a cow and a trampoline?” he asked.

Hakyeon stared blankly. 

“A milkshake.”

A moment of complete silence fell over them as Hakyeon processed what was just said. That was the worst joke he'd heard in years, and he still lived with Jaehwan. Yet the mere shock of its stupidity and Yikyung’s confident delivery, the look on his face expecting a good reaction, had laughter bubbling up inside Hakyeon. Mostly out of disbelief. 

“That was-” He started. “The _stupidest_ thing I've heard in my life." He was flabbergasted. He stared slack-jawed at Yikyung, but a smile was still playing on the corners of his lips.

"Yeah" Yikyung smirked. "But it made you laugh."

Hakyeon looked at him, really looked at him then. His eyes were sparkling with well-intentioned mischief, lips stretching and cheekbones scrunching up. Hakyeon idly wondered what Yikyung's skin would feel like on his. He knew on some level he should find Yikyung's forwardness weird and impolite, but it was refreshing, compared to all the stuck-up people Hakyeon had had to work with. Being prim and proper all the time was taxing, and he found himself relaxing around Yikyung already.

"Yeah.” Hakyeon acquiesced, smiling softly. “I guess you did."

* * *

Hakyeon smiled walking onto the set. He'd gotten the long end of the stick with the schedule this time around and didn't have to be up at the crack of dawn, so immediately his mood was miles ahead of what it was a few days ago.

They were filming individual teasers for the show and Hakyeon was actually excited. Photoshoots, he could do in his sleep. Plus, there will be child actors on set, which meant everyone on their best behavior. He made sure to bring snacks for the kids. It was mostly easy to get on their good side, but some little devils were harder to crack than company CEOs. Hakyeon didn't worry though. Being overly amicable and animated and happy go lucky was basically half of his job description already. So at least filming with kids during the course of the show won't be a problem.

He made rounds greeting everybody, an assistant photographer telling him to wait while they got the set ready. All of the main cast were doing their character posters in different areas of the same abandoned building, which was just lovely. The place was a maze of broken walls and windows, and would be the stuff of Hakyeon’s nightmares if it wasn’t for the mass of people currently present and the fact that it was midday, sunshine seeping in from all sides. Nothing could be creepy in broad daylight. 

Somebody called something out, and the equipment staff started to move the lighting sets and cameras to where the assistant had told Hakyeon he would be shooting. Hakyeon wondered who just finished before him and-- oh. 

Yikyung hadn’t noticed him yet, standing with a little girl in his arms while a stylist put her red shoes back on. It was the perfect image of a little princess being pampered, looking right at home in Yikyung's hold. He was saying something to her, pulling faces and trying to make her laugh. She didn’t respond to any of it, looking off to the side and ignoring him completely. A woman took the girl from him and went on her way. She didn't even respond to Yikyung’s goodbye, resulting in a pout that Hakyeon would almost dare call adorable.He laughed to himself from where he was watching.

As if sensing it, Yikyung’s eyes searched through the crowd and landed right on him. Maybe Hakyeon was imagining it, but he thought he saw Yikyung perk up a little bit, like a puppy seeing another puppy across the park. Hakyeon waved at him, a small movement, not trying to get anyone else’s attention, just enough to say hi. Yikyung smiled and jogged the distance that separated them.

He stood in front of him, all dressed up in a leather jacket and with his hair slicked back.

“Hakyeon-ssi.” he said.

“Yikyung-ssi.” Hakyeon replied.

A moment passed where neither knew what to say.

“You saw that, right? Ah, I’ve never been good with kids. They just don’t like me, no matter what I do. It’s really embarrassing. Adults at least pretend to laugh at my jokes.” Yikyung started defending himself unprompted, looking sheepish.

Hakyeon chuckled, hitting Yikyung on the bicep playfully. “Oh come on. Don’t say that. Kids can sense fear, you know? You just need practice. And to relax. And honestly?... better jokes.” he teased. “Then maybe, one day, you’ll have the magnetic likability powers of Cha Hakyeon.”

Yikyung looked at him, crossing his arms defensively.

“You're not that good.” he said, sounding sceptical.

Hakyeon tilted his head to the side. His competitive side didn't come out often, but when it did, he made damn sure to prove a point. “Well, I guess you can stick around and see for yourself.” He raised a challenging eyebrow at Yikyung. 

“ _Cha Hakyeon! Standby_!”

The corner of his mouth lifted into a smile as he turned around and walked to the set, not another word uttered. He was going to make best friends with this little girl. Out of spite.

By the end of the shoot she didn’t want to let go of him. He smiled. Partially to prove a point, partially for the cameras all around him, partially because he genuinely liked children, he outdid himself that day, cracking jokes and asking questions to make her comfortable. The girl even let him squish her cheeks. Hakyeon was going to count that as the ultimate win.

Clapping with everybody for a job well done, he finally relaxed. He was the last person for the day, so everyone was elated to finally go home. Saying his goodbyes, he walked to the exit where his manager was waiting to drive him home and there, right behind the cameras, he saw-- 

“Huh. I did not expect you to still be here.” he said, eyebrows raising.

“Well, you did say I should stick around and see." Yikyung shrugged. "I must admit. I’m impressed. I shall officially acknowledge you as the children whisperer.” he bowed as one would to royalty.

Hakyeon slapped his shoulder lightly and laughed.

“Don’t push it. I really thought you’d stay five minutes max. Didn't you have somewhere better to be?” 

He didn’t even have time to be worried about crossing a boundary, when Yikyung raised up, a big grin on his face. 

“I will ignore that. But honestly, Hakyeon, you’re a natural. I’m sure the pictures will come out great.” his compliments always sounded genuine. It’s why Hakyeon had a hard time replying to them. He pouted.

“Well now I seem bad for not being around earlier to say the same for you." He paused for a second. "But I don’t doubt one bit how photogenic you are. The camera has to capture at least a bit of your handsomeness.” He winked. He actually winked. What was wrong with him?

“You’ll see it tomorrow.” Yikyung winked back. Oh.

Right. Another schedule. Hakyeon’s excitement shot up. He grinned at Yikyung.

“Well in that case. I can’t wait.”

* * *

Yikyung was a clown, Hakyeon decided. They’d been trying to shoot one decent group picture for half an hour already, and each time they failed miserably, all because of Yikyung. He wasn’t even trying to be funny, keeping silent at their request, but there was just something about his aura that cracked them all up. They all had an uncontrollable attack of giggles. Even the staff around them

He wasn’t kidding about being the comic relief. Even in real life. He reminded Hakyeon of Jaehwan a little bit, the way they both brightened the energy in the room effortlessly, doing anything and everything to make people laugh, getting everyone present to like them. 

Hakyeon wasn’t even next to Yikyung, couldn’t even see the expression on his face, standing behind the rest of them and a bit to the left, (representing his edgy, mysterious character in the show, the photographer said), but nonetheless he too had to burst out laughing when he saw Gyuri’s shoulders shake. And then they all did, derailing everything once again.”

_“All right. Come on now, everybody focus.”_

The staff’s reprimands did nothing to help. Hakyeon fought so hard, putting all of the strength and experience he gained during his seven years as an idol into holding a neutral expression and--

 _"_.. _Really_?" 

It was Suna this time, apologizing for her own mistake, dying laughing and bringing all of them down with her. Hakyeon couldn't believe it. The amount of good energy working on this show so far must be a good omen for how the rest of it will go. Hakyeon sincerely hoped so.

The exasperated director called for a five minute break to try and get everybody to calm down. They were on a set similar to yesterday’s building, all broken down and abandoned looking, the only difference being that this time it was night, atmosphere way darker and creepier. Hakyeon sat on one of the set pieces on the dusty floor, fanning himself with his hands so as to not ruin his makeup. His eyes were teary from all the laughter, cheeks red. He couldn't remember the last time he had so much childish, carefree _fun_. 

Yikyung sat down next to him.

"Oh no. No no. Not you, mr. Funny. I can't look at your face right now." Hakyeon said, scooting over and covering his eyes with one hand, like it was going to protect him from Yikyung.

"Come on! I wasn't even doing anything! It's not my fault I have a funny face." Yikyung complained.

Hakyeon hid his own face between his knees, waving him off, so he couldn't see the smile on his face, threatening to become another set of giggles. 

“It’s not your face.” Hakyeon’s voice was muffled. “It’s just you.”

Yikyung ignored him and continued complaining. "I think it's the nose…" He sounded deep in thought.

Hakyeon rose up, still grinning. Slapping his shoulder to make Yikyung look at him, he focused on his nose. 

"Hey, don't say that. People say we look alike so insulting your nose is insulting my nose. And my nose is as good as it gets.” He tapped his nose twice, careful not to ruin the contour. “My surgeon said so.”

Yikyung blinked.

"Should you be spreading that information so easily? For all you know, I’m a double agent working for dispatch. An idol getting plastic surgery is really hot stuff. Never before heard of." He said sarcastically, wiggling his fingers conspiratorially.

Hakyeon only smiled softly and shook his head. "You’re not." He leaned back to look at Yikyung and bumped their knees together.

"How do you know?" Yikyung followed suit.

Hakyeon thought for a moment. Somehow, he just knew. If Yikyung turned out to be evil and exploitative like that, the world must really be coming to an end. Just by spending a few hours together with him, it was clear as day that Yikyung had a pure soul, tried so hard to be nice to everyone and help anyone who needed it. He was a good person. Hakyeon would put all of his money on that.

"Well, I'm really good at judging people. You're a total softie behind all those guns." Hakyeon pointed a finger at him as if to poke his arms, but thought better of it and lowered his hand.

He crossed his legs, leaned his chin onto his hand and looked at Yikyung. The man only shrugged. He couldn't deny that. 

"Funny, hot, and a nice person. Glad to know I make such a good first impression.” He looked down, as if he was checking himself out. Hakyeon snorted, checking him out as well. In a friendly, platonic manner. Hakyeon liked being honest, and Yikyung honestly does make a perfect first impression. Why not tell him the truth. He wasn’t going to let it get to his head. He also seemed too nice to ever become stuck up. 

Yikyung’s head shot up like he suddenly remembered something. 

“I'm also abundant with talent. Do you want to see what my ears can do?" he asked.

Hakyeon raised an eyebrow. "Ears? That's a first." Usually people bragged about their tongues or fingers. Hakyeon didn't say that part aloud. It was too soon for sexual innuendos, he had to remind himself. They weren’t close like that yet.

"What can I say. I'm full of good virtues and surprises." he humble bragged.

"That you are, Yikyung-ssi." 

They heard the call for standby in the distance, the room erupting into movement as everyone rushed to get back to their spots. Hakyeon rose up to his feet and stretched. Sitting on a rock wasn’t good for his knees. Or his ass. He dusted off the back of his pants lightly. Yikyung's voice stopped him from moving.

"Call me hyung. We're only one year apart, right? No need for formalities." He looked serious for once, not playful, but there was still the tiniest of smiles playing on his lips as the extended the offer to Hakyeon.

Hakyeon just grinned and started walking backwards to his spot in front of the cameras.

"Okay, Yikyungie-ssi!"

* * *

The press conference was nerve-wracking, but it wasn’t nearly as nerve-wracking as, well, anything else Hakyeon had to do for his job on the regular. Press were, if anything, easier to deal with than any fan would ever be. They didn't blind him with camera flashes every second, didn't expect smiles and finger hearts, only wanted to do their job and leave. Hakyeon felt the same.

Pose to the left. Wave to the right. Sit down. Answer questions. Make them laugh. Listen respectfully. Then he would be free to go. 

His castmates were all wonderful people, who knew how to do their jobs right, and the whole thing went perfectly fine. Hakyeon thought he did very well for his first time. As soon as he got back to the dressing room, he looked at his watch. Perfect. Now off to lunch with Yikyung, and then to the practice room. He loved it when his schedules fit in like puzzle pieces. He didn’t have to rush anywhere, or be left sitting around idly with no time to do anything productive. 

"What's the rush, Hakyeon-ssi?" He heard Yikyung’s voice before he saw him, approaching casually, hands in his pockets while Hakyeon was putting on his coat. Hakyeon rolled his eyes at him.

"Come on.” he said, jerking his head to the side. “We'll be late." 

He opened the door, walking into the grand hallway leading to the exit. The only problem was, to get out they had to pass the main lobby. Which was unusually full with people. Oh no.

"Oh no." Hakyeon said intelligently, eyes focused on the entrance area.

"What?" Yikyung looked around them, searching for the source of distress.

Hakyeon frowned.

"I forgot to tell you my fansites will probably be here.” he glanced at Yikyung, guilty. He didn’t want to put him through this. He didn’t mind it when he was alone, it was something to be expected in his line of work, and he was mostly fine with it. But when it got in the way of his friendships, bothered his family or crossed lines, he couldn’t stand it.

“Sometimes there’s only a few people. Sometimes… all of them show up." He turned an accusatory look to his manager. The fansites had to have found out through _someone._ It was a public event, but for personnel only. Not normal people with cameras.

The manager shrugged. "Not me this time."

Hakyeon sighed. Okay. He should have expected this. They were usually everywhere he was. And this wasn’t even private, so he couldn’t really be mad. Except that some feistier fans might dare to follow them and then… 

He really should have known to warn Yikyung. But he was preoccupied with other stuff, like the press conference and reading over the new episode’s script and practicing and. Okay. He was used to it. He knew the procedure. He didn't want to drag Yikyung into this unnecessarily, but he had no choice. 

"Hey. I'm so sorry, you didn’t expect paparazzi today. You can walk out a few minutes after me, they’ll probably go away." they were at least that behaved.

Yikyung frowned. 

"Hakyeon, do you not want me in pictures with you? Because I don’t mind. We're not doing anything wrong. Hell, they’re probably expecting me. It’s no big deal.” He started walking towards the entrance that separated them from the fans. “Stop worrying. Come on." 

Hakyeon didn’t know why he was so anxious all of a sudden either. It’s just that coming out as someone’s friend to the public eye created _expectations_ and Hakyeon didn’t want to have that pressure on them. Not yet. Not after how it ended with Wongeun. He wanted to keep Yikyung all to himself for a while longer. But what’s there is there. Destiny was just rushing them along. 

Hakyeon jogged to catch up with him. “O-okay. You can just ignore them. Or whatever. I’ll just wave. We’ll walk straight out.”

Yikyung stopped just before opening the door, making Hakyeon almost crash into his back. He turned around and put his hand on Hakyeon’s shoulder. 

“Do you want me to give you the spotlight or do I have your permission to act like a clown?”

Hakyeon didn’t want any of those. There was no ‘spotlight’. He rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Don’t be silly. We’ll just walk in there like a normal pair of friends.”

He opened the door and walked out, not noticing Yikyung’s eyes following him. He looked surprised. And he looked happy.

* * *

Hakyeon raised his eyes from the table, only to catch Yikyung looking at him contemplatively, chewing on his food slowly. They were in the cafeteria, thankfully only having a few relatively low effort scenes to shoot that day. Still, Hakyeon desperately needed his lunch break, the diet having him starving for most of the day. Eunho was a skinny guy. Hakyeon wasn’t.

He blew on his food before asking. “What?”

Yikyung looked at him and swallowed. “What what?”

“What do you want to ask me so bad?” Hakyeon’s gaze was sharp and serious. He didn’t know what to expect, but whatever it was didn’t have to wait. Hakyeon liked honesty.

Yikyung fidgeted with his spoon, picking it up and putting in back down next to his bowl, scratching his head, taking a sip of his soda. He cleared his throat, put his hands in his lap, straightened out and looked at Hakyeon.

“Ok. You don’t have to answer this, and I might be crossing the line but. I was just curious. You and Wongeun recently… you know, last time we all met you two seemed so close and I… I hate to assume but I just thought…it was a bit strange… to me. Now.” He fumbled through his question, biting his lips and glancing at Hakyeon, hoping he got what he meant.

Hakyeon sighed. So they were that obvious. Looking back, he should have known. Should have been more careful. He didn’t feel like beating around the bush, deciding to just say it straight up.

“Yeah, we broke up pretty soon after that.” he shrugged his shoulders once and continued eating, not waiting for Yikyung’s response.

Yikyung froze, his face blank, only blinking frantically as he struggled to comprehend what Hakyeon said. He thought for a bit before his next question.

“So you two were-” “Yup.” 

“And you’re-” “Uh-huh”

“But the selfie a while ago-” “Just publicity.”

“Oh.” Yikyung stopped.

Hakyeon looked at him, waiting for the backlash. It was better to know sooner rather than later. And if Yikyung wanted to be his friend there was some things he had to know. Hakyeon’s stare was a challenge, daring him to say something bad.

Yikyung nodded once. 

“Okay.” he continued eating. 

While they were filming The Wretchers, Wongeun wouldn’t stop talking about ‘Hakyeon’, texting him almost constantly during breaks and calling him like clockwork as soon as he was finished with the daily schedule. When Yikyung finally met them both backstage, before their sectionTV interview, he understood why. They seemed too close to be just friends, touchy and intimate in a way that screamed lovers.

Yikyung also saw them making out once where they thought no one could see, so that was confirmation enough. They were so lovey-dovey, Yikyung had to do a double take at the seemingly abrupt change within a few months. Neither of them mentioned the other anymore, almost avoiding the topic if it came up. So he had to ask.

“Why?” 

Hakyeon was surprised at his lack of reaction. He didn’t exactly expect Yikyung to start hating him and leave but you never knew with people. Hakyeon certainly dealt with bigotry on a daily basis. But he should have known Yikyung was better than that. He probably accepted anyone and everything even if he didn’t really understand it. 

Hakyeon tilted his head in question, asking Yikyung to elaborate.

“Why did you guys break up? You seemed so happy.” Yikyung clarified.

Hakyeon sighed. He wondered why too, sometimes.

“Oh, you know. Creative differences and what not.” he waved his hand in the air. “We drifted apart. It happens. I don’t hate him. I don’t think he hates me.”

Yikyung hummed. At least Wongeun didn’t turn out to be a scumbag. Hakyeon continued. 

“You really don’t mind?” he pressed his lips together after the question, looking down at his lap. It was the first sign of insecurity he showed around Yikyung since they started working together, but he had to know for certain. Yikyung scoffed.

“Hakyeon, please. My debut movie was a borderline gay porno.”

Hakyeon spit out his sparkling water.

* * *

Yikyung looked at the script, then at Hakyeon, then back at the script, and back at Hakyeon. He frowned.

"Is it just me or is there some hardcore sexual tension between Eunho and Jiheon?" He asked.

They were sitting on some set props again, waiting to shoot their next scene together. It was in Eunho’s tiny cardboard office and all the staff were cramped together making a ruckus, but Hakyeon and Yikyung found a quiet corner to rehearse in. Although rehearse was a generous term for what they were doing. They had went through the lines briefly once and spent the rest of the time talking and gossiping about the rest of the filming crew. Yikyung was convinced Nam Gyuri had a thing going on with one of the makeup noonas.

Hakyeon smiled and leaned his head back against the wall. 

"You know what? I was thinking the exact same thing." He side eyed Yikyung. "Maybe the up close whispering was a bit too much."

Yikyung scoffed. "Yeah. And asking about a girlfriend? Oof. I’m starting to think one of the writers wants them to be friends. Or something more." He wiggled his eyebrows. God only knew what the writers were doing.

"How hard do you think they would scold me for saying “Why? Are you interested?”" Hakyeon wondered out loud.

Yikyung's eyes widened, staring at Hakyeon. “I’ll buy you lunch if you fuck around and find out."

He looked all but ready to jump up from his seat, way excited at the prospect of getting a funny blooper, until Hakyeon stopped him with a hand on his thigh. Yikyung froze. He looked at the hand, then at Hakyeon, then back at the hand.. He sat down slowly.

Hakyeon raised his eyebrows inconspicuously and leaned in to mock-whisper. 

"Why stop at bloopers. There's a scene where we fight in a few episodes. I was thinking…"

* * *

Hakyeon lied on the ground. The cold, hard cement. In the middle of December. In Korea. Outside. Near the oceanfront. On the ground. In the cold. He wondered how many bad life decisions he had to make, how many people he had killed in his past incarnation to end up here. 

The camera director was obviously incapable of doing his job right, because Hakyeon had to lie there for 'scene continuity', like half the show’s scenes aren’t filmed over multiple days and haphazardly put together. Continuity my ass. They just wanted to see him suffer.

At least Yikyung was there, kneeling down next to him to make sure he's okay. 

Hakyeon couldn't even put his freezing hands in his pockets, because he had to hold the stupid prop rifle. 

"Are you okay, Hakyeonie-ssi?" Yikyung asked, a teasing but soft smile on his face as he pretend examined Hakyeon's body for injuries. 

Hakyeon tried to smile it off, but his mouth wanted to stay closed, teeth chattering and jaw clenched. It was fucking cold. He tried to come up with a coherent response, but it was impossible, he was freezing and Yikyung’s warm hands were roaming his chest and sneaking into his jacket and distracting him. Hakyeon wasn’t sure if he was shivering because of the cold or because of Yikyung anymore.

It was probably the cold.

Yikyung noticed. He stopped messing around, getting serious for once. Putting his hands on Hakyeon's, warming them up, he looked straight into his eyes. 

"Really. Are you okay? You’re shaking. I'll tell them to stop the shoot if it's too cold. I'll beat them up for you." He removed one hand from Hakyeon to flex his bicep, but returned it soon enough. He looked genuinely concerned for him. It was sweet.

His thumb rubbed across the back of Hakyeon's hand. Hakyeon smiled, tight lipped, but it was genuine. As long as Yikyung was there to distract him and stop his fingers from freezing off, Hakyeon thought he could bear it. 

"Mm. I'll be fine. I think they're almost done." He looked over at the clumsy camera crew setting up the shot. Everyone was minding their own business, not sparing him a glance. They were all in thick, floor length jackets. Hakyeon hated them all in that moment. He could only trust one man.

He turned back to Yikyung, secretly turning his palm up to squeeze Yikyung’s hand in gratitude.

"But thank you for the offer, hyung."

* * *

Hakyeon picked up the call and put it down on the counter after turning on the speakerphone. He was in the middle of making dinner, so it was still early for him to call.

"Yikyungie-ssi?" he answered.

"Hi Hakyeonie." came from the phone.

Hakyeon smiled. He'd never let him know how much he liked the nickname. He insisted on calling him formally most times, but it was all play pretend. They both knew they were far past that point in their friendship.

"Done already?" Hakyeon asked with a confused lilt to his voice. Yikyung insisted on texting him whenever he could from the set, and calling him at the end of each day. Something about it "being too boring without him around". Hakyeon only rolled his eyes at that one. 

When he was there, they used to stay on set until the late hours of the night, so this call's timing was unusual. How nice it would be if he got to finish so quickly every day. Of course, Hakyeon had no such worries anymore. With Eunho being tragically killed off, he had an extra few weeks of free time before he had to worry about any more schedules. And he was enjoying every second he could spend at home and relax. 

"Nope. Lunch break." Yikyung explained, sighing into the phone. Hakyeon heard shuffling and people muttering. It was a bit behind schedule - the shoot must have run late. So they still had more work ahead of them. Hakyeon’s heart went out for Yikyung.

"Oh?" Hakyeon replied. "Anything nice today? I'm making dinner right now."

That reminded him, he needed to check on the oven. He moved swiftly over to the other side of his little kitchen, listening to Yikyung talk. He peeked through the glass. Not done yet.

"Same old same old. As long as it's food, I don't care. I’m starving. The last scene took extra long.” He complained. Hakyeon stretched his arms above his head. He knew full well how tough it was. He did not envy them at all. 

“I’m sorry Yikyungie-ssi. But it’s only a few more episodes and you’ll be free.” he reassured him and only heard a snort in response from the other end of the line. 

“What are you making? Should I call the fire department in advance?" Yikyung teased.

Hakyeon turned around, facing his phone like Yikyung could see him. He was only half joking about being offended.

"Hey! Not true! The meme that I can't cook is DEAD. You're just jealous because I'm getting really good." He crossed his arms defiantly, staring down at his phone. He’s had enough of his members teasing him, he wasn’t going to take it from Yikyung too.

"Well, who's to say." Yikyung responded. "Everyone likes their own cooking." there was a brief pause and some more shuffling on the other end of the line, and then the background noise vanished. "Sounds to me like you need a taste tester, Hakyeon-ssi." Hakyeon could hear the smile in his voice. He rolled his eyes. So that was his angle. 

Hakyeon took a deep breath in- "Yikyung." He sighed. "I am not feeding you at 2am. I'm going to bed at 10 tonight and that's that." Hakyeon stirred the pot, not wanting to admit his mind was already running, trying to convince him to give up his hopes of a healthy sleeping schedule in favour of spending time with Yikyung.

"Well. I didn't necessarily mean tonight." Oh. "The offer stands. My offer for you to invite me to your house and feed me, that is.” of course. “Whenever. You know my schedule." Hakyeon did. 

He heard metal clicking. Yikyung probably sat down somewhere quiet to eat. Their breaks were never that long. And still Yikyung insisted on wasting them to call Hakyeon.

Hakyeon entertained the thought. They’d never hung out before with that much privacy but… what was the harm? He had his own place now. Complete freedom. And the next few days off… and he wanted to practice baking… and Yikyung _did_ love sweets… 

Hakyeon sighed again, scolding himself internally for being so easy. Where was his push and pull? "Okay. Your persuasion skills are off the charts.” Yikyung snorted on the other end of the line. “I'll bake brownies. Just say the day." He was, unfortunately, already getting more and more excited, planning the little get together. He was going to bring out his best candles. And of course he had to make a full course meal. He wasn’t an animal. Should they watch a movie? Was that _too_ intimate? Like a homemade dinner at his house wasn’t. He shouldn’t get his hopes up.

"Make it choco chip cookies and we have a deal." 

* * *

"You know, I really do think this Jiheon bitch is in love with Eunho." Yikyung said, looking at Hakyeon's TV in deep thought. 

He was sitting across from Hakyeon on his living room floor. They were eating cookies and watching the latest episode of Children of Nobody. Hakyeon was monitoring his own performance, barely listening to Yikyung's words at all. When the scene changed to show unimportant side characters (anyone who wasn't Eunho), Hakyeon turned to acknowledge him. 

Processing his words, he scoffed. "Well you play him, silly. Any longing gazes are your fault."

Yikyung reached out with one hand to lightly push Hakyeon. The other was shoving cookies into his mouth. 

"No you fool. The subtext alone is a high class homosexual masterpiece." well. Hakyeon nodded at that. He couldn’t deny the truth.

"The episode after you died is hilarious. I can't wait to see your reaction.” Yikyung leaned onto one arm, laughing at his own explanation. “Jiheon is fucking heartbroken, he can't sleep because of his guilt. He camps out in front of Eunho's grave. It's great. Modern day Romeo and Juliet, I tell you."

As the commercial break started, Yikyung's elbow gave out and he sprawled out on Hakyeon's carpet, reaching his thigh with a mere brush of a finger.

"Awww, poor baby." Hakyeon deadpanned. "He really liked Eunho secretly, I think. I mean, Eunho _was_ doing the right thing in the end. It really is tragic. Fuck the writers." 

On an intellectual level, Hakyeon understood the story and the message the show was trying to portray, but on an emotional level, he had a huge soft spot for Eunho. And so did everybody else. Hakyeon was glad to have had this experience, playing a misunderstood killer, but now that it was over he just wanted to change it to a slice of life happy little story about Eunho healing. And dating Jiheon. And then he could have an excuse to kiss Yikyung. 

So what if half of the reason he got so attached to this show was his and Yikyung's ongoing inside joke about their characters dating? No one had to know. 

"Yeah, you know what, fuck the writers for killing me off. Eunho did nothing wrong." Hakyeon decided, looking down at Yikyung expectantly.

"Eunho did nothing wrong." Yikyung nodded.

Hakyeon wasn't pleased yet. "Resurrect Eunho 2019." he added.

"Resurr-" Yikyung's eyes widened. "Oh my god." 

He rose up into a sitting position. He stared at Hakyeon. "2019. The next year is in like, 10 days."

Hakyeon leaned back against the couch. He'd already dealt with that existential crisis on his own a few days back. He was almost ready to accept the fact he was turning 30 soon. Almost. He hummed in confirmation.

"Yup. Any plans?"

Letting out a big sigh, Yikyung collapsed back onto the floor. "I have not thought about it for one second. Usually I just chill with friends at home." 

Hakyeon nodded. He looked deep in thought. 

"And _I'm…_ usually on TV." He fought not to cringe too hard. Sometimes he resented not being able to have a normal conversation without the fact that he was an idol coming up. He resented not having normal experiences people his age have. It was fun the first few years, but now…?

"Oh yeah, that's right." Yikyung slapped his forehead for forgetting. "Idol. Obviously."

Hakyeon smiled at him, but it wasn't like usual. He was obviously unhappy about something.

"Send me pictures from your party." He said.

Yikyung frowned at the sudden shift in mood. "You know, there's no reason you can't spend New Year's Eve with me." He looked at Hakyeon.

Hakyeon met his eyes, looking at him like he was a dumbass. 

"There are many reasons hyung. I will literally be performing." Hakyeon shook his head. That wasn't right. "Or, you know, standing at the back of the stage smiling for the cameras." 

Anything would be better than that. He desperately needed a change of setting. Jellyfish was annoying him enough as it was. He wanted to spend time with Yikyung. He wanted it badly. But he had to face the facts. And do his job. So he tried to rationalize with himself.

"And anyways, I'm not big on parties. I don't want to spend New Year's having to socialize with people I don't know. No offense." Idols he could politely ignore. Yikyung's friends? Not so much.

"Well." Yikyung started. "I don't have to invite anyone else over." He looked at Hakyeon expectantly, watching for his reaction to the idea of spending such an important event all alone, together. It sounded a bit too much like a date.

Hakyeon didn't even allow himself to entertain the idea, only bringing his knees closer to himself and hugging them. Resting his cheek down, he looked sadly at Yikyung.

"... I have to work." He attempted a smile, but it didn't want to show. "I'd love to." He said softly, almost a whisper.

Yikyung extended a hand without a word. Hakyeon took it. They fit together like puzzle pieces, Yikyung's dry and rough hands matching his soft bony fingers.

"Look. All I'm saying is you should talk to your manager. You're turning 30, it's time they stopped bothering you so much. They know it too." 

Yikyung grinned up at him. "Tell them you have something better to do."

Hakyeon looked away. They probably won't allow it, but what's the harm in asking, right? He could pull the military excuse. Say it was his last opportunity to have a normal celebration. He bit his lip, thinking it over. Yikyung squeezed his hand to get his attention. 

"At least try. Okay?" 

The look in his eyes was comforting, reassuring. It was nice to think even for a second that he had a chance to do something he wanted. Spend New Year's normally. For the first time ever since debut. And with someone who… with Yikyung.

Hakyeon squeezed back. Their hands fit together nicely, he thought briefly.

"Okay."

* * *

"I can't believe they actually let you do this." 

Yikyung was smiling, still shocked but nonetheless grateful that he wouldn't be spending New Year's alone. He was dressed casually, sitting on his own living room floor next to Hakyeon. They'd brought out snacks and beer, and the tv was playing one or the other holiday countdown special. Not that they were paying much attention.

Hakyeon had only just arrived, rushing from his last performance of the year to be with him. He didn't even get to take off the heavy makeup, looking out of place and overdressed. But it was fine. A small price to pay for a quiet night in. 

"Shh." He reprimanded Yikyung. "Don't mention it. I'm afraid the illusion will break and I'll wake up in some dressing room." 

Yikyung's cat was in his lap. It had warmed up to him quickly, Hakyeon forgetting all about Yikyung the second he saw the kitty at the entrance. She was a good ice breaker too. Hakyeon felt a bit awkward, even though they'd spent time alone together before. Tonight just felt different. 

Yikyung's apartment was cute. It was filled with games and trinkets, souvenirs and other collectibles he had a fondness for, but it didn't feel crowded. Hakyeon lived in minimalism, preferring simplicity, but this just… seemed right. The whole place screamed Yikyung, full of personality, and Hakyeon loved it. He reckoned he could spend days exploring each and every corner, listening to Yikyung tell him stories about every little thing. He hoped Yikyung would let him. One day.

But not tonight. Tonight was a celebration. Of friendship. Of freedom. Hakyeon still didn't really believe it himself. Maybe the company appreciated him more than they let on. That's why he was allowed to ditch the rest of his group under the pretense of _another schedule_. Yeah right. He felt kind of bad for them, but they'd manage. He really did deserve a break. 

Yikyung chuckled. "No illusions here. Or I would have prepared a better party."

He bumped his shoulder into Hakyeon's, reaching one hand into his lap to pet the kitty. She was purring. Hakyeon might have been too, were he a cat. He felt content, slowly accepting that this was real, he was here. Yikyung wanted him here. He relaxed into his side, the arm Yikyung was leaning onto behind Hakyeon's back almost making it seem like they were hugging.

"Yeah. I guess. But it's perfect, really. Don't feel bad. I wouldn't have it any other way." He smiled at Yikyung booping the cat's nose. She really was adorable, white and fluffy, one blue eye opening to lazily glance at them.

"She's so pretty. I want a cat too." He complained. Yikyung let her go, leaving her completely to Hakyeon, and leaned back against the couch. 

"You can have her. She's a menace. She's only acting nice to impress you." He sighed, but a smile found its way onto his face anyways. The sight of Hakyon right there, on his carpet, playing with his cat, was so natural, so _homey_ and domestic, and Yikyung couldn't help but feel like this was the way things were supposed to be.

He reached up to pet Hakyeon's hair, mimicking his movement. The man turned to look at him.

"What is this, a petting train? I'm not a cat." He stuck his tongue out at him.

"I want to say you're as cute as one but that's too cheesy, even for me." he stopped for a second, gauging Hakyeon's reaction. His reactions to Yikyung's flirting were always adorable. "Maybe you just look nice to pet. Stop complaining and enjoy it" Yikyung said.

Hakyeon blushed and turned around. He managed to whisper a broken "okay.".

The clock was ticking on the wall above them. 11:40. They didn't even do anything since Hakyeon arrived. Just sat around and talked. It felt like no time had passed at all. 

Hakyeon leaned his head on Yikyung's shoulder. The other man's arm immediately slid down to wrap around his waist. Somewhere along the way, they figured out they both enjoyed physical contact. But so far they were both too scared to test the limits of what that meant, even though Hakyeon was sure he could straight up ask Yikyung for cuddles and it wouldn't be awkward. One day they'll pass that threshold. And Hakyeon planned to milk it as much as possible. God knew he was touch deprived.

"Yikyung-ssi?" He asked.

"Hmm?" Yikyung's thumb was rubbing back and forth over his waist. He smelled nice.

Hakyeon hesitated. "... Yikyung-hyung?"

"Hakyeonie?" Yikyung pressed him ever so slightly closer into himself, sensing that something was up. The cat sensed it too, and waking up stretched its hind legs and walked off somewhere. Hakyeon started picking at a loose thread on Yikyung's sweatpants.

"Have you ever… kissed someone at midnight… on New Year's eve?" His stomach dropped. He didn't quite know where the courage to ask came from, but he'd been contemplating it a lot. Especially lately. He looked out of the window, at the pitch black sky. The fireworks must be beautiful from up here. He bit his lip.

Yikyung exhaled sharply. "No. No I haven't. Have you?" He asked.

Hakyeon shook his head. 

"Always wanted to, though. It would be romantic, I think, with the fireworks in the background and people cheering around you but… all you care about is the person you're kissing." He looked up at Yikyung and blushed. "I'm a romantic. It's stupid, I know." He leaned his forehead on Yikyung's shoulder, hiding his face.

Hakyeon felt Yikyung's shoulder move, jolting his head up softly, not allowing him to be embarrassed. "It's not stupid. When you put it like that, I guess I'm a romantic too." Hakyeon met his eyes again. Their faces were so close. When did they get so close? Hakyeon couldn't think. His eyes lowered. They lingered on Yikyung's lips. He nodded once. 

"Okay."

The clock ticked 11:50. Hakyeon's phone sounded with a notification and he reached over to the coffee table to grab it. Yikyung exhaled loudly.

It was Taekwoon, in their group chat. Hakyeon unlocked his phone and sat back, pressing play on the video. He could feel Yikyung watching over his shoulder. Hakyeon let him, having nothing to hide from him.

It was a short clip, the five of them doing the vixx cheer without Hakyeon. Except the video angle made it look like they left a space open for him. Hakyeon smiled subconsciously - Taekwoon was so sappy these days. He probably did that on purpose.

"You really love them, huh?" Yikyung asked.

Hakyeon had a hard time peeling his eyes away from the phone, still smiling. 

"Hmm? Oh… I guess." He bit his lip.

Typing out a quick reply, he put his phone down.

"Sorry about that." He said.

"Oh, no problem. Of course you had to answer." Yikyung replied.

Hakyeon rolled his eyes at his phone. "They only like me when I'm not there."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Yikyung asked. 

Hakyeon startled. "Oh. Nothing. Nothing at all. I guess I'm just tired of them being emotionally stunted and refusing to talk to me unless the situation is dire. I have a lot of love to give and they just won't accept it." He sighed, silently berating himself for spilling all of his frustrations out at once. "But it's fine. They're just like that. I'm used to it." His smile was strained.

Yikyung shook his head. "You shouldn't be. It's not fine. It's okay to admit it. You give out all of this love and no one is giving it back to you. You deserve to complain. And you deserve to be loved, Hakyeon." He swallowed. "You do."

Hakyeon smiled. "I know I do." He nodded. But hearing it didn't hurt. "Thank you."

The clock rang 11:58. The TV hosts were gearing up with more faux excitement, urging everybody to count down with them.

"It's really ending, huh? What a year." Yikyung commented. Hakyeon was looking at the tv, trying to spot vixx in the midst of all the idols. A chill went down his arms. This was it. 

"What is the best thing that happened to you this year?" Hakyeon asked, knowing it was an overused question he was tired of hearing but he wanted to know Yikyung's answer. He couldn't pick one thing himself. Every year for him was just running forward without looking back. Things keep happening. He keeps growing. The people around him keep changing. 

The next year was a big one. For him, for his group, for his future. The rest of his life was beginning right now. 

"The best thing?" Yikyung thought for a second. "Probably meeting you." He grinned.

Hakyeon slapped his chest. "Shut up." But he couldn't hide his smile. 

The countdown began.

_"10… 9… 8… "_

Yikyung took Hakyeon's hand in his own. He pulled him closer to himself. 

_"7… "_

Their faces were inches apart. Hakyeon looked up. It was warm. Yikyung still smelled nice. Comforting. He smelled like home. 

It didn't feel rushed, or awkward, or uncomfortable. Being close to Yikyung. It felt right. The corners of Hakyeon's lips rose into a soft smile. Finally. 

Yikyung's other hand came up to rest against his cheek. It was sturdy, his palms chaffed, but the touch was incredibly gentle. Yikyung was always gentle with him.

_"6…"_

He tucked a strand of Hakyeon's hair behind his ear. 

"Do I have to wait until midnight?" Yikyung whispered. 

Hakyeon felt it too. The slow drag of time, each second sitting there, hearing the drumbeat, longer than the previous. His heart was beating frantically, and yet, he was calmer than ever. It was supposed to happen. Why make them wait?

_"5… "_

Hakyeon shook his head. "No." He whispered back. 

Yikyung was looking at him so intensely and yet so… lovingly. It didn't feel like they were about to kiss for the first time. Sitting here, staring at Yikyung's eyes, it felt like this was just one of many. It wasn't nerve-wracking, he wasn't shaking, or sweating. He was simply waiting for the inevitable.

_"4… "_

And Yikyung leaned in, with one fell swoop, pressing his lips to Hakyeon's, pressing Hakyeon's lips to his. 

There weren't butterflies, there wasn't an explosion, there were no fireworks. Not yet. There was just the soft press of lips to lips, skin to skin, heart to heart. Hakyeon's lips parted open, and Yikyung kissed him like he was unraveling him, like he was seeing his soul, and falling in love with every part of it.

_"3… 2… 1… Happy New Year!"_

The people cheered, the fireworks lit up the sky, but Hakyeon forgot all about how his arbitrary bucket list wish was being fulfilled. In that moment, all he cared about was the burst of love erupting out of every cell in his body. 

Yikyung kept kissing him, and Hakyeon kept falling in love.

* * *

Hakyeon slept soundly, fully relaxed for the first time in a long time. No sisters to bother him, no annoying members being way too loud, and no deafening silence of the empty apartment he still was't used to. His sleep was dreamless, but waking up in Yikyung's arms was better than any dream Hakyeon could have ever had.

The sunlight, unusually bright for a January morning, shone through the bedroom’s large window onto Hakyeon’s face, but it wasn't what woke him up. What woke him was Yikyung’s cat, jumping into the bed and climbing in right between their legs, seeking warmth. Hakyeon opened his eyes slowly, not familiar with a little creature treating him as furniture but he relaxed when he felt her purring, realizing where he was. He had the perfect vantage point, his head resting on Yikyung’s chest, an arm around his shoulders keeping him close by. They were both dressed, Hakyeon borrowing pajamas from Yikyung. He told him he looked cute in them. Hakyeon blushed.

It was cold last night, but it was the kind of cold that made you extra happy when you got all snuggled up under the covers. Especially when you could do it with someone else. And they did just that, sharing body warmth and sharing kisses, not being able to keep their hands and lips off of each other. Getting to know each other's bodies in the most innocent way possible. They didn’t fuck, no, not on the first night. They both just felt the need to touch, to stay close. Yikyung mapped Hakyeon’s face with kisses, his neck, his hands, not allowing Hakyeon to shy out, calling him cute. Saying he could kiss him for all eternity. Hakyeon told him he’d only just gotten started. 

He stretched, careful not to disturb the kitty, and hugged closer to Yikyung. He was a back sleeper, and Hakyeon was used to sleeping on his side. They worked together perfectly to the minutest of details, and it satisfied Hakyeon to no end. He almost felt giddy.

He nosed the side of Yikyung’s neck, pressing a few kisses to the rhythm of his fingers tracing patterns across his chest. Yikyung still smelled nice. Manly, but not disgustingly acidic and artificial, just earthy and warm and natural. He stirred, starting to wake up with a final smack of Hakyeon’s lips to his collarbone. 

“Good morning.” Hakyeon whispered, voice rough from sleep, watching Yikyung rub one eye while opening the other slowly, catching sight of Hakyeon and immediately breaking out into a smile.

“Hey.” He whispered back, head settling against the pillow, looking down at Hakyeon resting on his shoulder. 

He squeezed his waist once. “Sleep well?” Yikyung yawned, covering his mouth and arching his chest, moving Hakyeon’s head with it. 

Hakyeon nodded. “The best.” 

He kept fidgeting with Yikyung’s shirt. Yikyung grabbed his hand quickly and brought it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. Then another one. He looked down at Hakyeon.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” he whispered, lips brushing the back of his hand. His eyes slid down to Hakyeon’s lips. 

Hakyeon blushed. 

“So why don’t you?” their eyes met.

Yikyung exhaled and squared his face into a serious expression. 

“Morning breath.”

Hakyeon burst out laughing, shoving his face into Yikyung’s chest. He felt a hand come up to run through his hair. He nodded.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” He hugged Yikyung tighter. “But I don’t want to get up.” He whined.

Yikyung kept stroking his hair. “Me neither. But come on, we have to feed the cat. And feed ourselves. And then we can kiss all you want.”

Hakyeon pouted at him. “... Okay.” he agreed reluctantly.

Yikyung smiled at him. He smiled back. Yikyung pressed a quick kiss to his nose, catching him off guard, before getting up and grabbing the cat on his way out of the bed. 

They brushed their teeth in tandem, standing next to each other, making faces in the mirror. Afterwards they kissed. It tasted like mint and a perfect start to something new.

Hakyeon clung to Yikyung all the way through the house, not letting him go one step without half of Hakyeon’s weight on his back. But Yikyung didn’t mind. He poured some dry cat food into her bowl on the way to the kitchen, where he picked Hakyeon up and sat him down on the counter. Hakyeon eskimo kissed him where he stood between his legs, pecking him on the lips once before asking. “What’s for breakfast?”

Yikyung scooted away to glance at his fridge. 

“Well. I actually wanted to take you out." He scratched his head. "I didn't want our first date to be over my own cooking. I’m not even sure when I last looked at my fridge.” he cringed.

“Is anything even open right now?” Hakyeon wondered out loud. It _was_ the first of January. Yikyung gasped. 

“Oh shit. Probably not. Fuck.” he looked guilty. “Well. You like avocado toast?”

Hakyeon smiled and grabbed Yikyung’s cheeks with both hands. He kissed the resulting pout on his face. 

“You could serve me cereal and I’d be the happiest man in the world.” 

Yikyung looked down and pouted again. 

“But you deserve more. You always deserve more than what I can possibly give you.” he said.

Hakyeon’s heart melted. 

“Maybe. But I want you. And I want whatever you have to give me.” he assured him.

Yikyung looked up at him. Hakyeon smiled. 

“Do you want whatever I have to give to you?” he asked.

Yikyung nodded firmly. Hakyeon kissed him, and breakfast was the last thing on their minds.

* * *

They walked in together. Not holding hands, never holding hands, but standing just close enough to brush shoulders without making anyone suspicious. They were just two normal friends hiding from the public eye in one of Seoul’s highest class vip restaurants. Industry secret. Celebrities were seated all around them, on dates or celebratory dinners, without fear that anyone would judge them. The waiters were sworn to privacy. The people next to them understood. 

Still, Yikyung had insisted on booking them a private booth. Only the best for their first date. Hakyeon had rolled his eyes at that, saying that any time they spent together is precious. Yikyung kissed his frown away. 

“Let me pamper you.”

Hakyeon was nervous. Idol or not, he’s never been to such a fancy place. Their booth was cozy, yet everything was dripping with luxury. He feared even looking at the menu. The waitress left them alone to decide on their drinks, and Yikyung grabbed his hand across the table. 

“So? What do you think?” he asked.

Hakyeon glared at him.

“Yikyung! This is way too expensive! We could have just gotten takeout! I didn’t expect all of _this_!” he gestured around them. “I’m out of my element. I forgot you’re rich.” 

Yikyung chuckled. “I’m not that rich. And hey, it’s my first time here too!” he reassured him. “Just relax. I want this night to be special.” he intertwined their fingers together and squeezed once before letting go. It was better to be careful. Just in case. Hakyeon rolled his eyes at him.

The waitress came back before he could reply, taking their drink orders and giving them two dinner menus. They both laughed at the ridiculousness of the dish names, hoping the food would be as good as they made it seem. The ambiance at least _was_ very nice, Hakyeon had to admit. 

Their room was private, but they’d caught sight of the beautiful views from the high rise windows on the way in. Both being afraid of heights, they didn’t make a reservation right next to them, but it was nice to appreciate from a distance. 

The waitress brought out their wine, and they told her to bring whatever dish went along with it best, not really wanting to bother with pronouncing french. Hakyeon raised his glass, making a toast. 

“To the most unforgettable first date, with the most unforgettable person.” their glasses clinked together. Yikyung chuckled at him.

“To the start of something wonderful.” Yikyung added. 

Hakyeon smiled, taking a sip. Resting his chin on his hands, he looked at Yikyung. 

“I really wish I could kiss you right now.” he sighed wistfully.

Since New Year’s, they were basically inseparable. Hakyeon had went home after breakfast to change, but Yikyung showed up at his place that same evening with takeout and they spent another night together. And another. Sans a few schedules here and there, they were both technically on holiday vacations and were free to spend time together all day long. Most of January they spent alternating between the two apartments, chilling, watching movies, cooking together, mostly just lying in bed and talking, sharing stories and getting to know each other as well as they knew themselves. 

On one occasion, when Hakyeon got out of the shower, his phone was lit up with a new notification from Instagram. Yikyung had posted a picture of the two of them, smiling together on set, not caring about what was going on around them. Hakyeon remembered the day fondly. It was when he realized, Yikyung was never going to be _just_ a friend to him. 

He looked at the caption. 

Hakyeon’s heart fought to burst out of his chest, feeling like a schoolgirl in love with butterflies in his stomach and an uncontrollable blush on his cheeks. He rushed out of the bathroom, only in his robe and found Yikyung, sitting on the couch. Hakyeon approached him, dropping his phone next to them as he climbed into his lap. 

“My love Hakyeonie?”

Yikyung grinned up at him, grabbing his waist for balance. “It’s a nice picture, isn’t it?”

Hakyeon didn’t have to comment on the choice of wording. They both felt it. It was too soon to say it out loud, but the feelings that were growing inside them would one day inevitably have to come to the surface. For now, a seemingly casual instagram caption would have to do. If Hakyeon spent any more time thinking, his watery eyes would turn into full blown tears, so he shut them tightly and kissed Yikyung even tighter, expressing everything he couldn’t say with words quite yet.

Maybe he had found his soulmate.

And now, sitting across from him, pretending to be a normal couple on a normal date, he was once again struck by how well they fit together. 

“You can kiss me later. A lot.” Yikyung said. They weren’t touching, but the intimacy could be felt in the air, the tension between them heavy. “And I’ll kiss you a lot too.”

After dinner, which turned out surprisingly delicious, worth their time and money, they made their way back to Hakyeon’s apartment building in Yikyung’s car, walking in swiftly, always cautious, unlocking the door and shutting it closed behind them. They looked at each other, smiling for no good reason.

“Thanks for the meal. It was wonderful.” Hakyeon cupped Yikyung’s face, while Yikyung’s hands came up to rest on Hakyeon’s waist.

“Thank _you_ for accompanying me. Any meal is wonderful with you there.” he said.

Hakyeon was used to his relentless flirting by now, so he only smiled and leaned in for a kiss. 

It started out romantic, long, deep kisses, but the mood slowly changed when Hakyeon started to unbutton Yikyung’s shirt. The man only squeezed his waist tighter in response, licking into his mouth and pressing their hips closer together. It was another thing they didn’t need to discuss. After all, it was a special night. 

Their kissing grew more frantic, more needy, as they stumbled their way to Hakyeon’s bedroom, refusing to part lips for more than a few seconds. Finally making it in, Yikyung guided Hakyeon to the bed and lay him down. He climbed up right after, arms bracketing Hakyeon’s head as he kissed him senseless. 

He broke away reluctantly, panting above Hakyeon as he asked. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Hakyeon grabbed his neck and arched up to kiss him. 

“I’ve never wanted anything more.”

* * *

“It didn’t come out good enough, do it again” Hakyeon demanded.

Yikyung looked at him, deadpan. “Hakyeon, this is the 10th take we did of you just walking ten steps. Take it or leave it.” 

But… his vlogs needed to be perfect… and aesthetically pleasing, and cohesive, and interesting, and well-shot, and… 

He looked at Yikyung with all the puppy dog powers he possessed. Just one more take. They had time. He fluttered his eyelashes. Aegyo wasn’t his strongest suit, but his boyfriend was basically obligated to find him cute. He knew it would work. Yikyung seemed exasperated, but Hakyeon kept silently blinking at him. He could play a waiting game.

Yikyung finally tore his eyes away from Hakyeon and sighed. 

“Okay. One more take. But only because you’re cute.”

Hakyeon grinned from ear to ear and handed him back the camera. Sucker. 

Technically, Hakyeon was in Thailand for a work schedule, having to give an interview for one or the other celebrity magazine. But this was his last chance to go on a couples trip together with Yikyung before enlisting. He already made promises with his family for Japan in a few days, but Thailand was all his. And Yikyung's. Jellyfish must have realized that their biggest money maker was going away for two years, so they were being extra forgiving to him. It helped that he also started demanding what he deserved. And he deserved a 5 day vacation with his boyfriend just to do one interview.

They were having a grand time. It was bittersweet, sort of, to have their first and, well, possibly last trip together so quickly after starting to date. But Hakyeon will be damned if he wasn’t going to make the most of it. No matter how bad the timing of this whole situation was. 

They booked the most expensive hotel room they dared to, one with a bathtub big enough to fit both of them and a panoramic view of the city. They spent one too many evenings cuddling naked in the tub, throwing in one of Hakyeon’s bath bombs and looking through the bathroom windows, talking about their plans for the next day and what they were going to do when they got back to Seoul.

On their last night there, Hakyeon sighed deeply and relaxed back into Yikyung’s arms. 

“I don’t want to leave.” he whispered. “It’s too good to be true.”

They had the luck of not being recognized for the duration of the trip, leaving them to enjoy it to the fullest. Every day was spent eating good food and visiting basic tourist spots, trying out clothes and accessories, buying souvenirs. For their friends, but also for themselves. 

Hakyeon insisted on filming every step of the way. Not constantly, of course, just short clips to remember everything they did, a little memoir. He had his youtube channel in mind, yes, but not everything he filmed was going to be sent to his editor. Hakyeon got in some lovely shots of Yikyung, them messing around together, posing with funny faces in front of landmarks. He wanted to keep those to himself. 

If watching them back brought him one sliver of the happiness he felt while living in the moment, carrying his camera everywhere and having Yikyung nag at him was 100% worth it. 

Yikyung kissed the side of Hakyeon’s neck, swiping his thumb down his bicep.

“It’s not too good to be true.” another kiss. “We have to go. That’s pretty bad, if you ask me.”

Hakyeon rolled his eyes and pinched whatever part of Yikyung’s forearm he managed to reach first.

“You know what I meant.” another sigh. The night view really was breathtaking. “I wish we could keep being on vacation, traveling the world, being together forever and ever and ever...“

“But. We can’t.” Yikyung finished for him. His hands tightened around Hakyeon, barely noticeable. Hakyeon only nodded sadly. He mentally ran through the rest of his schedules before March 4th, making sure every blank spot had Yikyung fill it up.

“Will you at least come to my fanmeeting?” he perked up, hopeful. “Oh, you can be a special guest, I was probably going to talk about the drama either way, you coming would be great! And not suspicious at all!”

Yikyung hummed. 

“When is it exactly?” he asked.

“The 16th and 17th. Although I think management will probably make some of my members come on Sunday.” 

Hakyeon waited for the answer, but Yikyung inhaled sharply through his teeth, like he was reluctant to admit something. Hakyeon understood. His mood dropped instantly.

“Drama shooting?” Yikyung had been approved for season 2 of Waikiki. He just didn't expect it would start so soon.

“First reading. I’m so sorry Hakyeon. I wish I could see you.” he pressed an apologetic kiss to his shoulder. “Will you at least tell me what you prepared? Oh, will you show me?” Yikyung had developed a taste for Hakyeon dancing, watching fancams while Hakyeon looked on, horrified. He wasn't even watching the good ones. Hakyeon had promptly sent him his hand picked playlist.

He didn’t want to show him what he prepared. He wanted Yikyung to see him on stage.

Playing mad, he crossed his arms and shook his head. 

“You have to come and see.”

Unbeknownst to him, Yikyung smiled a sneaky smile before starting to mutter apologies and excuses.

Hakyeon fidgeted, leaning up to turn on the stream of hot water back on. He was mad. And sad. And frustrated. 

“It’s so stupid. We really can’t do anything together. If I had only enlisted when I turned eighteen, I would have still made it on time to audition and train and debut, and then met you and maybe we could… I don’t know.” he stopped.

Yikyung squeezed him tighter to himself.

“Is that what you’re worried about? Come on Hakyeon, you and I both know nothing would be different. If you could work, you’d just be swamped with schedules, and we would see each other even less. And there’s no way you would have quit your group for anyone so stop overthinking it.” 

Hakyeon pouted. 

“But we could text and talk and maybe I wouldn’t be so busy and-”

“We can still text and talk. You’ll have your phone most of the day. And you’ll get time off. _Yes,_ enough to see your family and your members, and then me, so don’t even start.” Hakyeon closed his mouth. 

There was a brief silence while Hakyeon thought about how to express his worries. All of those things did concern him, but there was something more. 

Hakyeon took a deep breath. “Yikyung…”

He changed his mind. Turning around as gracefully as the bathtub let him, he sat and faced Yikyung.

“The military service is going to last at least two years. And I... I don’t want to pressure you into waiting for me. Yes, we can still be in touch, but it won’t be the same. You know it too. I l-... I know I’ll still want to be with you when I come out, but just in case, I need to say it. If you meet someone you like, you have my permission to date them.”

He nodded solemnly. He thought about it a lot, read stories about jealous boyfriends and girlfriends not being in strong enough relationships to survive the enlistment period. He didn’t doubt Yikyung, but their relationship _was_ still fresh and new. Who can tell what time will bring. This time last year, Hakyeon was convinced he wouldn’t have to have this conversation with Wongeun. Now they weren’t even together.

Yikyung looked at him like he was a dumbass. But Hakyeon dared say there was a hint of exasperated fondness in that stare. Yikyung began to talk.

“Hakyeon. I’m not saying your worries are invalid. They’re not." Yikyung took his hands gently, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. "But I also know it's not just our relationship you're worried about.

"Yes, you will have a hard time at first, everyone does. But it doesn’t mean it will all be bad. It doesn’t mean anything has to change. You’ll still be able to do everything you do normally, plus or minus a few things. And who knows, you might even end up really enjoying whatever you choose. I hear our military band is doing great. You love performing either way. I was an army driver.” he smiled briefly at the memories. “Just, whatever you do, please don’t doubt me. It’s only two years. Not a lifetime. And I will wait for you. I’ll be there with you every step of the way. And then, we will decide what to do next. Together.”

Hakyeon looked teary eyed. He was worried about everything more than he let anyone know, and Yikyung’s words helped soothe him where he didn't even know he needed comfort. He couldn’t believe he had found someone so loving, so patient, so reassuring, someone who could read him so easily and was always there to talk him through it. Someone who he could understand without saying anything, and still spent days talking about everything with. 

He loved him. He really, truly loved Yikyung.

“I love you.” it came out as a broken whisper. He cleared his throat. “I love you.” the way it needed to be said.

Yikyung nodded. They knew it was still too soon, but fuck it. Everything around them told them to move fast. Somehow, it didn’t bother them. 

It wasn’t an explosion of emotions, a sudden burst of love so strong it had to come out. It wasn’t a rapid river, with twists and turns, splashing everywhere and overflowing. It was a steady stream, calm, unchanging. They didn’t say it as a revelation. They said it to confirm something they both knew. That they would be okay.

A soft smile played at Yikyung's lips. Hakyeon thought he felt his hand tremble a little around his.

“I love you too.”

* * *

“Shut up! You piece of shit! I cannot _believe_ … “ Hakyeon attacked Yikyung with chest slaps and neck chops, mouth open, appalled at Yikyung’s _audacity_.

Yikyung only chuckled, greeting the other people in the room quickly before focusing on Hakyeon. He looked proud. Bastard.

“Yikyung! I hate you so much. Liar. Traitor. How did you even-” he struggled with words, looking Yikyung all over as if to confirm he was real, standing right there in front of him, at the backstage of his valedictory fan meeting. When he explicitly said he couldn’t come. Did he manage to clear his schedule? Or was he just lying to Hakyeon to surprise him? Because it worked. Hakyeon was surprised. And elated. He decided he doesn’t really care about how or why it happened. He only cared about Yikyung.

He threw his arms around Yikyung’s shoulders, holding on tightly. Yikyung’s arms wrapped around his waist, his nose finding the crook of Hakyeon’s neck. He rocked them left and right slightly, euphoric and beaming and having to get it out of himself somehow. 

Hakyeon had gone out on stage, none the wiser, and only realised Yikyung was sitting in the vip aisle when the voice in his in-ear said so, the prompter urging him to get him in the conversation. Hakyeon looked and-- there he was, stage hands shining a light on him, fans cheering. Yikyung hid his face in shame, but Hakyeon didn’t care to ease his burden. He deserved being humiliated since he wanted to show up unannounced. 

That’s why they only had a short period of time to themselves now, intermission only designed for a costume change and maybe a pee break. Which was a good idea, actually. 

“I’m gonna take five.” Hakyeon shouted to his manager. The bathroom wasn’t his first choice of places to run off to, but it would have to do. The other man only nodded vaguely in his direction, looking at his phone. 

In fact, everybody seemed distracted enough. Hakyeon thought they’d have to do the ‘Yikyung just so accidentally happens to have to pee as well 30 seconds after me’ bit but not today. Hakyeon grabbed him by the arm and dragged him quickly out of the room, and started running down the hallway. 

He felt like a reckless teenager, sneaking off to the bathroom to make out with his boyfriend during class. Except it was his actual job. And thousands of fans in this building were waiting for him. He didn’t care.

The bathroom was empty, thank god, not a lot of male staff on call today. Still, Hakyeon dragged them into a stall. Just in case. It was cramped, but at least it was clean. It would have to do.

They were inches apart, Hakyeon smiling and breathing heavy, on cloud nine knowing Yikyung would be there. Would see _passionate tango._

“Nice sweater, grandpa. Seriously, what is the concept today? Senior home? And this hair, sheesh. Did you use garden scissors? Not to toot my own horn, but-” Hakyeon cut off Yikyung’s rant by slamming his lips onto his, fisting the lapels of his coat and bringing their bodies impossibly closer together. Yikyung made a surprised sound at the back of his throat, but quickly relaxed and accepted the kiss as it came, resting his hands on Hakyeon’s waist.

Hakyeon only broke away briefly to say “shut up.” before diving back in, licking into Yikyung’s mouth, grabbing onto his hair and pulling. Yikyung’s hands found their way down to Hakyeon’s ass, squeezing and pressing their hips together, thrusting up. Hakyeon let out a soft moan. It really was immature, and reckless, and rushed and filthy but Hakyeon didn’t care. In 10 minutes, he would be back on stage, singing or dancing or talking or telling stories, but right now it was only him and Yikyung and their lips and tongues and heat and love. 

Hakyeon slowed them down gradually, pulling away hesitantly, Yikyung chasing after him for a few more stolen kisses. He wanted more time. He always wanted more time with Yikyung. But they shouldn’t get too carried away.

Cupping his face with one hand , he pressed a final, searing hot kiss onto Yikyung’s lips. He caressed his cheekbone. 

“I really have to go now.” he didn’t dare speak louder than a whisper. He didn’t want it to be true. 

Yikyung made space between them briefly, letting them cool down from the high-strung tension, only to come right back for a kiss on Hakyeon’s forehead. He loved his forehead, as much as he poked fun at it. And now it was out there for the world to see. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” he said.

Hakyeon looked regretful. Yikyung straightened out his own clothes before starting to smooth down Hakyeon’s, helping fix his hair and the foundation on his forehead. The liptint was as good as gone. He hoped no one would ask why. Yikyung patted his shoulders, hands sliding down his arms to grab onto Hakyeon’s.

“You have to go now, but when you’re done, I’ll take you out for dinner, then back to my place, and we can spend all night doing just this. You can live without me kissing you for two hours, right?”

Hakyeon pouted. Clingy was his middle name. He wanted to say no, just to be petulant. But he still squared up and nodded. He was already pushing the five minutes. By a lot.

He decided. He was going to go out there, do what he loved most, and then be with the person he loved most. Live his best life. And whatever the future brought them, he’d get through it. They’d get through it. Together.

“I love you.” he smiled.

“I love you too.” Yikyung smiled back.


End file.
